i continue to dominate in sheer volume of posts lately. esp over esteban, anyhow.

how weird is it when you meet someone at a bar who you may have known as a junior high student? 3 outta 5 for weird, methinks.


do not try this game. it will eat your soul. good zombie game here... is there more fun than the chainsaw? maybe the chainsaw in the castro...

lying on my back....somewhere

what? Harj strikes again!

i am freaking baffled.

also, i am freaking pleased.

i am freaking interested.

wow

simply amazing.

not me me me, but meme (and damn you jamie)

also, this, of import to me: (from Harpers [I heart you Harpers]
What follows is an excerpt from The Shadow Factory, the aphasic memoir Paul dictated with such struggle and resolve, “forcing language back on itself.” In it, he recalls life in the hospital’s rehab unit, what he felt and thought, and explores some of the all-too-real tricks the mind plays to save itself from the tomb of lost words.

— DIANE ACKERMAN

“Bosh,” one hears you exclaim, “this man is writing about nothing!” But is he? It could be that he is writing about something somebody said to him after he had regained his senses, or that he regained these senses for himself, and detected shreds of rabbit fluff here and there. Imagine a man coming round after five days in the human tank that denatures us all and finds no memory worth talking about. I suspected as much from my 10-day immersion in whatever I was immersed in.

read the rest, here

not so sure about this...

My personalDNA Report



but really am enjoying this.

putting the ASS in passive

while I have had my share of passive aggressive notes from both work and my neighbors at home, neither of these notes are from/for me.
BTW - if you ever 'helpfully' ruin something for me at my job (like our A/C friend back there), consider that an act of open warfare, and your job will become incrementally harder for all eternity (or until you quit).

harpers

you know you love it ~
i suppose i shouldn't be surprised, but i didn't know this insurance product existed...

Over 500 victims of clergy sexual abuse settled their claims with the Archdiocese of Los Angeles for $660 million; the Archdiocese is expected to sell up to 50 church properties to raise funds, as many of the cases date from periods when it had little or no sexual-abuse insurance.

in other news, spiral jetty.

a couple of vids for you

this one, from slovamskey:


and this awesome thriller video. maybe i'm late to the party on both, but damn funny:

yes. it's that time

to my friend, Este (who stubbornly refuses to write):

[stolen from harpers]

and in England, gingerists, or people with a bias against red hair, were subjecting the auburn-headed to slurs like “you ginger bastard” or “you right ginger whinger.” The Internet's storehouse of wisdom, information, and pornographic images was determined to weigh 0.2 millionths of an ounce.

Also, if you can't find me this week, there is a really good reason.

Salmo yeehaw!

finally, maybe i should be watching this show (thanks peebs):
Bubbles: Do you want to see a rocket go, Randy?
Randy: Does it really launch, Bubbles?
Bubbles: [rhetorically] Does it really launch? Does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?

[Ricky goes over the department store's public address system]
Ricky: Mr. Lahey and Randy to the Fuck-off department. Mr. Lahey and Randy to the Fuck-off department and hurry the fuck up!

P.S. - This just IN ~

headphones

wear yo headphones. now press here.
see?
stereophonic, bitches.
i whisper you the code.

in otehr news; an open letter to:
Americas Test Kitchen -
How can you do this to me?
How is it that you send me weekly email to join your 'sister' site, and hide the recipes that i paid good money for behind the sister site and then ask me to pay, again, for the use of these recipes?
is it because you believe somehow i give a shit about a 'free microplane grater'? the answer to that question, and many other unrelated questions, is NO.

In final-ment, some harpers -

Jerry Falwell died. "Dr. Falwell," said
Senator John McCain, "was a man of distinguished
accomplishment."

remember that in '08.

get yo harpers on (Or Works to Worse)

Ya'll remember when Ralph Nader ran for president? I'm paraphrasing
here, but he mentioned that in order for the political system and
the nation in general to become something that actually works, "it
would have to get a lot worse before it gets better".

You think this is what he meant (via harpers):

The Republican candidates for the presidency debated at the
Ronald Reagan Library in California. 
* - Senator Sam Brownback of Kansas said that the day Roe v.
Wade was repealed would be "a glorious day of human liberty
and freedom" and that the current tax system "ought to be
taken behind a barn and killed with a dull ax"; 
* - Senator John McCain of Arizona claimed that he would
"follow [Osama bin Laden ] to the gates of hell"; 
* - Texas Congressman Ron Paul said that not going to war in
Iraq would have been "conservative," because "it's a
Republican, it's pro-American, it follows the Founding Fathers.
And besides, it  follows the Constitution." 
* - California Congressman Duncan Hunter took responsibility
for the border fence in San Diego. "It's a double fence," he said.
"It's not that little straggly fence you see on CNN  with
everybody getting over it." 
* - "No one on this stage," said former Arkansas governor Mike
Huckabee, "probably knows Hillary Clinton better than I do,"
to which former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani replied:
"Oh my!" 

Collectively, the candidates invoked Reagan's name nearly 20
times. It was announced that Reagan's diaries would be published. 

"Getting shot," he wrote in 1981, "hurts."

damn you Beck

damn you and your new album, and your damn good song, which has been playing constantly up in my grill.
your damn puppets, too.

taking Amtrak to Nigeria

You say Take the train?

You ever sit around your apartment, and think of taking the train to go see your friend in LA, or Portland? Well, there is a problem. Amtrak's California service is a freaking joke.

The problem is more than just here in the west, the entire system is being manipulated in all sorts of ways. This guy here is advocating privatization, which I am not sure about, but do agree that by hiring lobbyists the public would finally hear something about the problem.

In other news, let's all take the Amtrak to Nigeria! Here are the conductors! Yippeee!

In other other news, Hey Este, let's "Get Happy"....

who hearts Harpers?

in Baghdad, a U.S. congressional delegation outfitted with bulletproof vests, flanked by 100 soldiers in armored Humvees, and watched over by attack helicopters, visited a local bazaar to demonstrate the success of the current security plan. It was, said Representative Mike Pence (R., Ind.), just like an "outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime."

Actual Outdoor market in Indiana:




Are those gunships? 
Oh. 
No, those are trees.





RNC hopeful John McCain at the
so called "Indiana like market":

Time Ghost, the best bar in the citay

this point is not open to debate (p.s. - FOAD Yelp).

Zeitgeist, hands down, is the best bar in the city.

BUT, I was there last night, and I have disturbing news to report...

I ordered a cheee-burger and they asked me for my name (standard fare) and then -

the guy asked me for my cell phone number.

After I recovered (and thank you kind housewife who beat me with a 2x4 until I came to my senses [and why are both the pictures I used {found} of women being electrocuted? WEIRD!]) :














Anyway, when they called me (on my phone) to tell me my chee-burger was ready, I discussed the "new technique" of being called to pick up your food.

I told the gentleman [for he had recently thrown a woman outta the bar after catching her attempting to "steal" my food, a true gentleman] that I thought the new procedure was weird.

He replied, "It works, right?"
I said yes.
I said "It still feels weird".
He replied, again, "But it works, right?"

This case is NOT closed.

MORE - maybe they are gonna move to this? Dammit I'm proud of me!

not so thin lizzie

you ever google yourself?
just trying to follow some advice, and i ran across a sweet gem from a former job.

That is some sweet example of my writing skilz. I musta been hungover and listening to the supersuckers. thanks eddie.

i love harpers

Ya'll read Harpers Weekly?

one of my favorite weekly reading email deliveries; and then this little meanie showed up in my inbox:

The statement "In New York City, someone stole the penis of a
chocolate Jesus" is not true; the source was a satire website that was
mistakenly thought to be a genuine news source. Harper's Weekly
apologizes for the error.

How can you make that up? just terrific Harper's. Good job! I haven't laughed harder yet today. You have won a small pittance of a gift, which I'll keep in my front coin pocket on my jeans.

EXTRA MORE:
I just ran across these fine gems. I know ya'll enjoy 'em.

SUPER EXTRA MORE: HERE

my f(r)iend Lex

Joel (aka Lexington O. Lexington) is choosing to move to a new home uppin PDX land...as sad as this is to take, I can understand and some of those people I read (here come the shout outs) are all talking about how hard it is to live here in SF.

Sheesh, everybody knows the dice are loaded. it's hard to be a pimp out here.

anyway, i'll be celebrating the Joel Festivus at Zeitgeist on 3/31 at Noon or so. Come by and hoist one for our buddy Lex.

i got sealab-ed

my friend, zesty, sealab-ed me.
what is getting "Sealab-ed" you may ask?

lookie here.

ya see, sometime, in some bar, somewhere Esteban, Ian and I may have been consuming mass quantities. and we came up with the nickname 'Alan'. for everyone. I was Alan, Este was Alan, Ian was Alan, the bartender was Alan. It was a funny moment. the joke continues to this day...

Anyway, here is the inspiration behind my sealabbery: