scottish

some strange news from Scotland -
a Scottish man was placed on a sex offenders registry for raping a bicycle. Another Scottish man was sentenced to five years in jail for smothering his 76-year-old mother with a pillow not long after she told him he was a failure who could not even kill himself properly. "I woke up," the man told police, "and just decided to do it." [ed. - got something right]
you know where

writing

an open letter to Beer, from me, in the style of Dubble-u (previously referred here as Dub; rub a dub dub);

Dear Beer,
I am gonna git ya.

collective duh resonation

Companies Seeking Immunity Donate to Senator
DUH
Eric Lichtblau and Scott Shane of The New York Times report: "Executives at the two biggest phone companies contributed more than $42,000 in political donations to Senator John D. Rockefeller IV this year while seeking his support for legal immunity for businesses participating in National Security Agency eavesdropping."

john mclaughlin?

HeARt popPERS

Bo Ward, the proprietor of a barbershop near the Army's Fort Campbell, committed suicide at a town meeting in Clarksville, Tennessee. Ward had requested that his home be rezoned as a commercial property to increase its value and to offset the losses he suffered when most of his regular patrons, among them General David Petraeus, were deployed to Iraq; the City Council refused. "Y'all have put me under," said the barber before inserting a pistol into his mouth. "I'm out of here."

Two thirds of American CEOs, a study found, think that American CEOs are overpaid.

BB KING

thor

i like this.

i like the response - "We recognize that there is room for improvement and that even one bad customer experience is one too many. It is our goal to continue bringing customers in Northern Virginia the most advanced products and services we offer ... and to ensure that they have a great experience at every touchpoint."

UPDATE - woman now titled hero.

"For now, in other words, being an active liberal means being a progressive. And being a progressive means being partisan. But the end goal isn't one-party rule. It's the re-establishment of a truly vital, competitive democracy. For in the end, democracy is what being liberal is all about."

- Paul Krugman

Ignoranus Neologisms

Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

how now GOP cow?

am i on the crack?

In Iowa, Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson continued to attest to the existence of WMDs in Iraq. "We can't forget the fact that although at a particular point in time we never found any WMD down there, [Saddam Hussein] clearly had had WMD," he said; Thompson ended his speech by asking for applause.

Republican Senator Larry Craig was selected for induction into the Idaho Hall of Fame and announced that he would not resign from the Senate, despite being denied his request to withdraw his guilty plea of disorderly conduct resulting from a sex sting at an airport men's room.

i'll have the turkey

so maybe i haven't been paying attention, but it seems like Turkey and Iraq have a border problem similar to the problem AmuuuRica (USA) has with the Pakistan/Afghanistan border, and really all not that different (but different enough) with Iraq/Iran border.

wouldn't you think those American's might work on the border disputes? maybe have this figured out? maybe figure out other border problems?

danger doom.